Pre-Show

JR:  Hello and welcome to what is surely going to be the most explosive PPV in DGW history. 

King: Oh man it seems like months since we were sitting here in this announce booth

JR:  Nope it’s only been a couple of weeks King?

King:  ESM: Are you sure, it seems like almost 3 months?

(JR and the King slowly turn to the camera in a shades of the movie Airplane glare)

Shane:  Would you two assclowns shut up!  What I want to talk about is that turncoat bastard Adam Mayhem

JR:  Oh give me a break Shane!  You turned on your own father; the Unholy Alliance turned their backs on DGW.  Adam Mayhem is a son of a bitch because he turned his back on DGW NOT WCW.

(The camera then cut to the back where the Unholy Alliance along with Mary Alice-N-Chains were waiting in the VIP room.  The crowd began to boo as BDG paced back and forth)

JR:  Oh great!

ESM: . . . no seriouzly seriouzly, I really liked Thez Rundown.  It needed more spanking scenes for me to give it a thumbzs up, but not bad Mr. Rock, not bad . . . (BDG interrupts)

BDG:  I want Mayhem DEAD!  That son of a bitch embarrasses me!  ME! I don’t think so!

ESM: Calmz down . . .calmz down.  It’s coolz man it’s coolz (ESM said with a German accent)

BDG:  ESM: NOT NOW Mangler

ESM: mach es dir selber

BDG:  What?

ESM: Nothing nothing.

(DGW’s growing German audience laughs while everyone else races towards Google to figure out what Mangler said)

BDG:  Listen damnit, the time for games is over!  Tonight make no mistake about it; we will leave our mark on this business.  The KLIQ want to embarrass us?  Then we’ll embarrass them.  Not only am I going to take out Mayhem and that paper champ Nay-Bob in the main event, but I think it’s time everyone feels our wraith.

GMB:  G is right damnit.  The Undertaker wants to play with fire?  Then it’s time he gets burned!  I’ve already talked to Damien and trust me we’ve got some surprises in store for the Deadman tonight.

MAC: And I’m going to make sure that after tonight, Samantha Dorris is going to be laid out flat on her back for a long time. (Humor the screenshot . . .pretend she’s just out of camera range)

BDG: Wait, how is that different from any other night?

MAC:  Because for once she won’t enjoy it!  Trust me, after tonight the only thing that’s going to be buzzing in Samantha is the stars in her head and not the toys in her . . .

ROCK:  HEY HEY that’s enough of that.  You sick freak, thanks for those images.  And to think I almost ate sushi tonight.

BDG:  Shane McMahon won’t even tell me who the mole is going to be, but he said that it’s a done deal.  So, we all know what we have to do tonight. Let’s make them pay!

Unholy Alliance:  YEAH!

BDG:  Let’s make them Bleed! 

Unholy Alliance:  YEAH!

ESM: I’m going to tear Cactus Jacks head off (Mangler said with a serious tone)

Unholy Alliance:  YEAH!

ESM:  And then I’m going to bite the turnbuckles off with my bare teeth, then take my shirt off and chase small children around the ring while I . . .

ROCK:  EEEEAASSY big fellow, easy

(The Unholy Alliance leaves the VIP room as the PPV gets started with a BANG)

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